so, i'm blogging @ work. where i'm not allowed to. seriously. we're not supposed to use work computers for personal reasons. even when we're on break. like i am. i'm off the clock, but don't feel like driving all the way home for an hour to just drive back. so, i'm in the faculty room, violating policy. wev. not the first, or the last.
but, this brings me to something i was thinking about earlier today, and wanted to post on but ran out of time. i dread coming to work. don't get me wrong. i like my job. i enjoy what i do. when i'm done doing it, i have a sense of satisfaction, and want to keep doing it. however, almost every day, i sit around the house knowing that i've got to go back. and it's so hard to get motivated, to get up, to get ready, and to go. even though i know that once i'm here, i'll be fine.
seriously, i think i almost had an anxiety attack this morning thinking about going to work. which is what caused me to think about this whole situation. i enjoy work, but just don't want to go.
what do you think?
6 comments:
I dread going to work as well, but not in the same sense that you do. It doesn't really cause me anxiety, it is just a lack of motivation or desire. I think it is more difficult when you don't have a consistent schedule to get motivated. you do 9-5 or 7-4 or whatever every day and you sort of start functioning on auto pilot and dont think about it as much. When I was teaching and taking classes, I found myself looking for ways not to go to work and I definitely enjoyed that work better than what I am doing now. But everyday was different and I couldnt get into a routine. Maybe that has something to do with it?
Maybe your anxiety about going to work is really some other manifestation of anxiety from elsewhere in your life?
I don't know. I'm not really that good at armchair psychology but I can toss the lingo around. =P
Lulu's theory sounds good too.
nah, i think it really is that i don't want to go to work. it's nice sitting at home, watching tv and surfing the net.
Work sucks. I can't blog or even look at the internet at work either....it sucks to be an indie blogger sometimes.
Yeah. I used to tell my Seniors that they needed to find something they loved to do. Because (at the time) I loved what I was doing, and even then it was hard some days to get up and go do it.
The other side of that coin is hating what you do--which, I have no words for what that's like. All I know is that Sunday around 4pm I start to have a mini-meltdown and can't enjoy the next how many hours because I don't want the week to start.
But I digress. I think you'd just rather not work. Life is better when you're not bound by things like getting to work, spending 8 hours there and not getting to do everything else you'd rather be doing, regardless if you like what you do or not.
MMM...perpetual PTO.
I used to have the same problem. Crying when I got up and all the way to work. I couldn't sleep on Sunday nights. In my case it was just really hard adjusting to the next phase in my life. In my case this wasn't just a job it was my career. It was what I had gone to school all those years to do.
Thankfully it's been about 6 or 7 years now and even though going to work sucks I've gotten used to it. Heck I even enjoy it sometimes. For me I've learned that I can handel these new challenges and I feel good about my accomplishments.
I guess what I'm trying to say is it takes time to get used to working in a career. I think most people go through a phase of "oh crap" what did I get myself into. People don't talk about it much but I found this transitional period to be the most difficult.
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