punctuation woes

saw this sign the other day, and it made me wonder...

what should i tell 9 pm? something other than you'll be open late after 5 pm? or perhaps that you do gift wrapping?

stupid protest sign

"if you like foreign oil you'll love foreign food"

as i read a story online about a water protest in downtown fresno i saw a photo of that statement on a protester poster. then, as i read the print copy i noticed that the photo was front and center.

to me, the statement is ridiculous. the two things are totally unrelated, especially when you are at a rally for water in our state. whether or not the federal and state governments regulate water has nothing to do with importing oil.

seriously, the more i try and make a connection, the more my head hurts. our farmers want water. if they don't get enough water, food production will be done. and how do we make the jump to oil?

let's try the other way. i like foreign oil. so, maybe i like foreign food (which i actually do). how does this relate to california water?

can anyone help me out? am i being obtuse? does the sign make sense to anyone?

foul ball grammar

i saw this sign, and it's one i've actually seen quite frequently, but it stood out to me this time. you see, the colon tells me that you're talking to the foul balls, letting them know that the institution won't be held responsible for their damage.

a runner post for kasey

kasey, you've got to click over here and look @ some of the funny signs held up for runners in a marathon. maybe we'll work on some for you.